(Sung to the tune of Home on the Range)

VERSE:

Oh give me a site where the links all work right --
One that doesn't take too long to load --
Where the text can be seen on my 13-inch screen --
One that offers a "no-Java" mode.

REFRAIN:

Home, home on the Web, on my 486 IBM.
Please take pity on me -- I'm still on Netscape 3
With a 14.4-speed modem!

VERSE:

Though your video files give your pages some style
I can't read them upon my PC;
Massive graphics and sound crash my system, I've found,
So please put in some "alt" tags for me!

REFRAIN:

Home, home on the Web on my 486 IBM
Please take pity on me -- I'm still on Netscape 3
with a 14.4-speed modem!

VERSE:

Please don't ask me to "chat" with your favorite cat;
I don't have an IRC code. 
And don't ask me to buy games for Win 95 -- 
My PC is way too darn old!

REFRAIN:

Home, home on the Web on my 486 IBM
Please take pity on me -- I'm still on Netscape 3
with a 14.4-speed modem!