 | Lerman's Law of Technology - Any technical problem can be overcome given
enough time and money. Corollary - You are never given enough time or money. |
| Murphy's First Law for Wives - If you ask your husband to pick up five
items at the store and then you add one more as an after thought, he will
forget two of the first five. |
| Law of the Search - The first place to look for any thing is the last
place you would expect to find it. Corollary - It will not be the last place
you expect to find it. |
| Kauffman's Paradox of the Corporation - The less important you are to the
corporation, the more your tardiness or absence is noticed. |
| The Salary Axiom - The pay raise is just large enough to increase your
taxes and just small enough to have no effect on your take-home pay. |
| Miller's Law of Insurance - Insurance covers everything except what
happens. |
| First Law of Living - As soon as you're doing what you wanted to be doing,
you want to be doing something else. |
| Weiner's Law of Libraries - There are no answers, only cross-references. |
| Isaac's Strange Rule of Staleness - Any food that starts out hard will
soften when stale. Any food that starts out soft will harden when stale. |
| Kenny's Law of Auto Repair - The part requiring the most consistent repair
or replacement will be housed in the most inaccessible location. |
| Second Law of Business Meetings - If there are two possible ways to spell
a person's name, you will pick the wrong one. Corollary - If there is only one
way to spell a name, you will spell it wrong anyway. |
| The Grocery Bag Law - The candy bar you planned to eat on the way home
from the market is hidden at the bottom of the grocery bag. |
| Yeager's Law - Washing machines break down only during the wash cycle.
Corollary - All breakdowns occur on the plumbers' day off. |
| Lampner's Law of Employment - When leaving work late, you will go
unnoticed. When you leave work early, you will meet the boss in the parking
lot. |
| Quile's Consultation Law - The job that pays the most will be offered when
there is no time to deliver the services. |
| Loftus's Law - Some people manage by the book, even though they don't know
who wrote the book or even what book. |
| Troutman's Fifth Programming Postulate - If the input editor has been
designed to reject all bad input, an ingenious idiot will discover a method to
get bad data past it. |
| Lovka's Dilemma - You never get away, you only get someplace else.
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