Mother's Brownies
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bulletRemove teddy bear from oven and preheat over to 375.
bulletMelt 1 cup margarine in saucepan.
bulletRemove teddy bear from oven and tell Billy "no, no."
bulletAdd margarine to 2 cups sugar.
bulletTake shortening can away from Billy and clean cupboards.
bulletMeasure 1/3 cup cocoa.
bulletTake shortening can away from Billy again and bathe cat.
bulletApply antiseptic and bandages to scratches sustained while removing shortening from cat's tail.
bulletAssemble 4 eggs, 2 tsp. vanilla, and 1-1/2 cups sifted flour.
bulletTake smoldering teddy bear from oven and open all doors and windows for ventilation.
bulletTake telephone away from Billy and assure party on the line the call was a mistake.
bulletCall operator and attempt to have direct dialed call removed from bill.
bulletMeasure 1 tsp. salt, 1/2 cup nuts and beat all ingredients well.
bulletLet cat out of refrigerator.
bulletPour mixture into well-greased 9x13 inch pan.
bulletBake 25 minutes.
bulletRescue cat and take razor away from Billy.
bulletExplain to kids while there's still time and he's still able to run away.

Frosting:

bulletMix the following in saucepan:  1 cup sugar, 1 oz unsweetened chocolate, 1/4 cup margarine.
bulletTake the darn teddy bear out of the @#$% broiler and throw it away -- far away.
bulletAnswer the door and meekly explain to the nice policeman that you didn't know Billy had slipped out of the house and was heading for the street.
bulletPut Billy in playpen.
bulletAdd 1/3 cup milk, dash of salt, and boil, stirring constantly for 2 minutes.
bulletAnswer door and apologize to neighbor for Billy have stuck a garden hose in man's front door mail slot. Promise to pay for ruined carpet.
bulletTie Billy to clothesline.
bulletRemove burned brownies from oven.

Author Unknown

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